Our Nine Hour Doctor’s Visit

Nine hours!  Nine hours, I tell you!

We arrived to CCRM (our fertility clinic) at 645am.  It was cold, still dusk, we were tired, but in good spirits. We were prepared for our day-long appointment at the clinic.  But man oh man, we weren’t prepared to sign our lives away!  Ok, not literally, but I swear, we must have signed 25 different consent forms!  I was prepared for the forms to scare the crap out of me, tell me I was likely to die from the crazy experiment I was about to let these people put my body through, but they didn’t.  There wasn’t much talk about the procedures themselves, it was more about the processes, about money, and about ownership over fertilized eggs. Yup, ownership over fertilized eggs!

So, basically, we hope to have enough viable fertilized eggs that we will not only transfer one or two good ones (haven’t decided on that yet), but also have some to freeze for a possible next time. But what will we do with these frozen eggs in the face of tragedy – death or divorce, they ask?  Well, if we get divorced, we will donate to another couple or hand the embryos over for research. But what about if one of us dies?  If hubby dies, he signed over all rights to me.  I think it said, “all rights given to wife.” But if I die – do you have any idea what I had to sign!?  It said something like this: “the husband may choose to use embryos for any purpose, including transferring them into his new wife.” YES!  It seriously said that!  I knew what it meant to be signing the rights over to my hubby.  Im not sure that it was necessary to spell it out like that!  Do you!?!?

Ok, so I don’t want you to get bored and stop reading my awesome post, so ill just briefly lay out the rest of our visit:

1. We met with our nurse who answered ALLLL our questions and then walked us through the IVF process.

2. We had blood drawn – communicables (HIV, Hep B/C, etc), and some other stuff.

3. Vaginal ultrasound – This was pretty crazy.  The tech rolled a condom onto what looked like a lovely shape and size of a penis and inserted it inside of me, turning it left, right and center to get shots of my uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries.  It was pretty incredible to watch on the television perched on the wall in front of us.  She counted the follicles in my ovaries – a combined total of 15, which apparently is pretty darn good.  Woohoo!  Everything looked good except for weak uterine blood flow. I was told that acupuncture could significantly help with this.  And why not, right?  That’s only another $1000!  Ugh.  Whatever though, it’s all funny money, right!?

4. Hysteroscopy – the doc inserted a tiny camera into my vagina, through my cervix and into my uterus.  He was checking if my uterus was, well, a welcome environment for a fetus.  It is. Woohoo! During this procedure I learned that I had a ‘tight cervix.’ Haha, a tight cervix, huh?  I’ve never heard that one before!

5. SPERM SAMPLE! – Omg, I love my husband.  Poor guy had to go down to the basement floor to give his sweet little sample. He went down and picked up a phone to tell the nurse he was ready to do his thang! Do you want to know the nurses name!?  Destiny! Yes, Destiny was the ‘nurse’ that picked up on the other line to ask my man if he was ready to provide his ‘sample!’ Do you think they do that on purpose!? – use some trashy phone sex name to help them get in the mood!?  haha, who knows!  So anyways, the hubs enters the room, he sees a big, black leather office chair, with a freakin pee pad on it. Yup, the same pee pad my grandmother has scattered around her house for her little dogs.  He tries to get comfortable, shuffles through the magazines, switches on the t.v. and looks for something worth watching.  He just hopes that some raunchy porn will relax him while in this sterile, all white room.  My only feedback I got from him was that he tried to get into the porn until he saw the guy cum on a girl’s butt that was covered in pimples. HA! I really think CCRM should be able to afford some better videos with all the darn money we’re paying them!  But hey, he survived! 🙂

So, that was our nine hour appointment in a nutshell.  Next, we are waiting for our results to come back.  It should take about 4 weeks.  Then we’re onto the next stage…whatever that is!!!

Feel free to ask questions! 🙂

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