Significant Delays on Highway IVF

 

disappointment

I knew my nurse would call me sometime between 330pm-430pm to review my lab results, but that didn’t stop me from watching my phone like a hawk all. day. long. I was desperate to hear whether my estrogen levels had dropped – the deciding factor in whether we could proceed with a fresh transfer this month.

Not only did my levels not drop, they doubled.  My E2 levels are over 6000 and that’s no good.  I am being triggered tonight, retrieval is scheduled for Friday.  But my body is not in good shape for a fresh transfer.  I need to get my levels down and try again next month.  Actually, she said the transfer will take place in 6-8 weeks. That sounds like a lifetime.

I am so bummed.  I cried. I want this so bad, and I feel like we were sooooo close.  Now, more waiting.  Feels like lots more waiting.

Lesson learned is you just can’t plan for things throughout this process.  The hubs and I so easily fell for the idea that this was all going to go as planned.  The ridiculous conversations began:

If this works, we’ll be pregnant in 3 weeks…

If this works, the baby will be born in January….

If this works, when should we tell people?…

If this works, do you want a boy or a girl?…

If this works, I won’t be able to go on this work trip or that work trip…

If this works, we’ll go see your family at this time and mine at this time…

We even had our final sushi dinner the other night, just in case this worked…

We were saying, ‘if this works,’ but our need and intense desire for it to work meant that we were beginning to plan as if it was a given. But there are no givens in this process. We know that now. We need to take the next 6-8 weeks to focus on us, our lives outside of IVF, our jobs, our marriage, our happiness.  We need to stop letting IVF define it. We need it to simply be a part of our lives without letting it take over (easier said than done).

I am so very disappointed.  But really, I am lucky.  My follicles look good, my chances of success are pretty good (all things considered), I’m young and healthy, and I have a man that is as committed as I am to this whole process (more so at times). Waiting 6-8 weeks to ensure that I am the healthiest I can be for the transfer of what I hope it a perfect embryo is really not that must to ask.  I am disappointed, but I am lucky.  I need to keep reminding myself of that.

I am setting a goal between retrieval and transfer.  I am going to focus on me. I am going to make sure that I am in the best health of my life in preparation for pregnancy.  I am going to focus on diet, exercise, and positive thinking.  My goal is 10 pounds in 6 weeks.  Join me on my journey as I prepare for what I hope with be my first, successful, completed IVF cycle.

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2 thoughts on “Significant Delays on Highway IVF

  1. Oh, Friend! I am so sorry. I have so many bumps on this road, and understand the emotions. Apparently, I am at high risk this cycle for the exact same thing…OHSS with all of its implications for IVF. Anyway, I think it sounds like a wonderful idea to take this time for you and for your mental health.

    I would caution you not to lose weight too quickly. I’ve heard that can put stress on your physical body (even if you don’t feel it emotionally). Just my two sense. Perhaps some massage and TLC?

    Hugs!

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