Thank you for sticking with us this long. Thank you for waving at me the other day and jumping around in my belly with the same excitement that I was feeling. Thank you for making it through the tumultuous first trimester and entering the second with such beauty and grace. I now have a picture of your facial profile. That little button nose looks like the perfect mix of your daddy’s and mine. Let’s be sure to continue this journey together, both growing stronger and preparing for the momentous day we meet in January. Stick with me. Stay strong. Grow into the perfect little baby I’m certain you will be.
I love you.
We’re 13 weeks. I can’t say I ever believed we would make it this far. I still fail to fully comprehend that the baby I see on the screen is actually growing inside of me.
I must warn you that this blog will begin to change slightly, and while I hope you stick with me, I understand why you would choose not to. I have debated whether to shut this blog down (until my next IVF round) and let it remain what it was originally meant to be – an infertility blog. But, I’ve realized that that is what it still is. It’s just my infertility blog. It’s an infertility blog that just may have a happy ending – still no guarantees, of course. I want to let myself enjoy and celebrate this pregnancy, while never forgetting where I ‘came’ from. So, my infertility will still very much remain a part of my story, but I am going to allow myself to freely blog about Blueberry – about her growth, about mine, about my feelings and my emotions. I hope that you will stay with me.
An update on Blueberry: With CCRM, we had ultrasounds almost weekly from 6-9 weeks. Switching to my general OB meant that I would have to go from 9.5-12.5 weeks without one. That’s a long time! And while the wait was excruciating, the change in Blueberry was incredible! She went from 2.6cm to 6.8cm and from the appearance of a little teddy bear to a real baby. Her body is still kinda hard to work out, i.e. not yet totally resembling a baby, but her face and profile are incredible and her legs, arms, and hands are long, beautiful and waving around. When the doc listened to her heartbeat, she immediately exclaimed, “whoa, that’s a girl heartbeat!” Of course she admitted that associating a fast heartbeat with a girl is a bit of an old wives tale, but claimed that it has often proved to be true. Of course it’s way too early to tell, but it was exciting nonetheless. Her HR was 174. Although I would be beyond elated with a healthy boy or girl, I suppose I have been slightly hoping for a girl. But, that all changed when I saw these amazing pictures my good friend and professional photographer, Jade at Uplift Photography posted today of little Miles. Could this little guy be any cuter!? Did you see the pic of his bare bum in the air!? It totally did me in! 🙂
An update on me: My second period of spotting has ceased for sometime now. The feelings of fullness after very small meals has (unfortunately, in a way) also gone. Since those were my only first trimester symptoms, I have been virtually symptom-free since week 10. Needless to say, this scared the crap out of me at the time, but looking back, I am grateful I didn’t feel worse. However, I have a couple new pregnancy symtpoms – most of which pretty much suck. First, the hair. Yup, I said it. I don’t look like a gorilla by any means, and to someone else it is not even noticeable. But if you are my husband who is forced to lie close to my naked body, you would see a slightly darker, thicker trail leading down from my bellybutton. I’m not loving it, obviously. Second, and much more bothersome, is a newfound skin sensitivity. I feel pretty itchy all day long. One minute it’s on my hand, moments later its my leg, then my belly, and on and on. My scratching then leads to minor rashes that go away about 10 minutes after I finally stop scratching. The same rash shows up when Im hot, or sometimes for no reason at all. My skin is just super duper sensitive. Per my doc, it sounds like skin sensitivity is very common and it’s something I’ll just have to deal with. Again, not loving it. But, I forgive Blueberry. It’s totally worth it! 🙂 Finally, my urinalysis at 9.5wks came back with trace amounts of sugar. The clinic asked me to get the 1 hr glucose test done at my 12wk appointment. This test, which screens for gestational diabetes, is usually done around 24wks. Of course, I was freaked! GD, especially this early in pregnancy, would not be good. But, I went in for the test where I drank a sugary orange flavored drink and had my blood drawn an hour later to check my glucose level. Thankfully, my results were in normal range. The sugar in my urine could have simply been from the orange juice I had drank prior to my appointment. Who knows. The nurse says that the urinalysis result may indicate that I am slightly more likely to develop GD later on in pregnancy, but I can’t worry about that now. I’m just grateful that I can still eat my bites of tasty chocolate for now!
We began telling people after our appointment this week. We called close friends and extended family. I told a couple people at work. But, we’re not going to make an announcement to the world. I still feel pretty anxious and I’ve found that as soon as the words, “Im pregnant,” leave my mouth, I worry that Im jinxing myself and telling too soon. However, it has been nice hearing the excitement in my friend’s voices. I’ve also been desperate to ask my mommy friends for guidance, suggestions, and advice – and now I can!
This is bound to be a crazy ride and we’re really only just getting started. Our next two appointments – at 16 and 20wks – are when they do genetic screenings and check for physical abnormalities. I’m going to be stressed. There is no way around that. But, I’m going to try my best to enjoy this time and begin planning for the arrival of our little Blueberry in January.