Well, here we are, guys! – 34 weeks! Not much has changed since my last check-in. Im still feeling pretty pregnant, although the most common reaction from strangers continues to be, ‘whaaa, but you’re so tiny!’ Word to the wise, prego ladies dont like to hear that – at all (oh man, this might turn into a bit of a rant before the original rant I was planning…!). I get where people are coming from when they say that to me. They think it’s a compliment. It’s like telling your friend she’s so thin. But, a prego lady doesn’t want to hear that. In fact, I don’t want to hear if my bump is surprisingly small OR big. To an uptight first-time mommy, too small means my baby isn’t growing the way he should. Something must be wrong. Too big means that my baby is growing too much. Again, something must be wrong. Tell me my bump is cute or ‘perfect’ or even low or high, but please, don’t comment on the size of it. It simply creates unwarranted stress and anxiety.
Which brings me to my second rant. I’ve gained just over 30 pounds. It’s not cute. And let’s be honest, it’s not all baby. I’ve undoubtedly gained weight in my face, I’ve got a little bit of swelling going on in my legs, and I’ve simply given myself a break from the yo-yo dieting and intense exercise that Im so accustomed to doing. I wouldn’t be at my smallest with or without this baby growing inside of me, and that’s ok with me. What’s not ok is that the #1 MOST COMMON ‘compliment’ I receive from people is, ‘you look great – you’re tiny everywhere but your belly!’ And as if that weren’t enough, they continue and begin to pick apart my body and tell me how my face hasn’t gotten fat (yet) or that my arms are no bigger (that’s a surprisingly popular one!), or that you’d never know I was pregnant from behind. It irritates me soooooo much, simply because I know that it’s BS. And before you try to tell me otherwise, hear me out. Weight is a sensitive subject in our culture. It’s also a focal point that society has become obsessed with. And the honest truth is that we ALL notice it – in ourselves and in other people. We may not care, we may not judge, but we can’t help but take note. So, I know without a shadow of a doubt that people don’t actually think I look exactly the same size as I did before I got pregnant. Even the thinnest girls generally start to puff up a bit at 8 1/2 months pregnant! The only thing these ‘compliments’ do for me is to make me uncomfortable, to draw my attention to my imperfect body, the attention of the complimenter to my body, as well as all those in earshot of her so-called compliment. Why do we think that complimenting a person’s body or weight is the only way to offer a compliment!? Tell me I glow. Tell me pregnancy looks great on me. Tell me that I couldn’t look happier. Tell me you love my bump. But please, please stop using my pregnancy as an excuse to talk about my body.
Ok, rant over! 🙂 Can you tell I’ve let this fester for awhile!? Thanks for listening!!! 🙂
On to my update:
How far along: Im 34wks,5days today.
Symptoms: I’m still feeling pains on the right side of my ribs. My breathing is also still labored on all sorts of occasions – from lying down on my back, to talking to much, to walking what I used to consider short distances. Other discomforts really only arise when I try to push my body in ways it can no longer go – like trying to get up off the couch in record speed or bending to zip-up my boots. Happy to report that there are still no (new) stretch marks and my belly button remains an innie!
Fears: Blue’s movements have decreased. The books tell me that this is normal because he is running out of space in there. But, Im used to more activity and it totally freaks me out when I haven’t felt him in awhile. I’ve had a few freak-outs and bouts of crying as a result. I’m trying to stay sane. Im also beginning to worry about post-birth. Will Blue be born 100% healthy? Will I do a good job taking care of him? Will breastfeeding come easily to me? Does everyone who comes into contact with him need a flu and whooping cough shot? How do I balance family visits and family time for the 3 of us to get to know one another? And the list goes on….!
Excitement: 5wks2days until my little man is due. I can hardly stand the anticipation. We are soooooooooooooooo excited to meet him! Really couldn’t be happier!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Classes taken: Childbirth Preparation, Breasfeeding, Babies Baths and Bundles (how to care for a newborn). Infant CPR is this week and then we’re done!
Looking forward to: Seeing my dad, brother, and sister-in-law for the first time since I started showing and getting to celebrate Christmas with them.
Next appointment: Dec 23 – first ultrasound since our anatomy scan at 21 weeks!
I guess I should close out by saying that although I seem to be bitching a ton in this post (!), I am actually over-the-moon happy these days. I’m loving every minute of preparing for our little man, spending quality time with his daddy, and dreaming and fantasizing about his arrival! Yay for dreams coming true!