I’m sitting here staring at the video monitor as my little munchkin soundly sleeps. I love Wednesdays. Toby and I spend the whole day together, cuddling, kissing, talking, playing, eating and sleeping. The days I’m at work seem to be getting harder, not easier. I feel guilty daily for not being with him, for leaving him at a daycare where I can’t ensure he’s being cared for the way I want him to be. But, alas, until I win the lottery, that’s just the way it is. Luckily we have our Wednesdays and now daddy is going to start ‘working from home’ on Fridays and keep him home with him.
It’s been a whirlwind couple of weeks. Toby is changing daily – for the better – and every day brings something new, fun, and exciting (usually, fun and exciting…!). Toby learned to roll from back to front which has rendered his playmat virtually useless since he immediately turns away from his hanging toys and flips onto his belly. I’m desperately searching for things for him to ‘do’ during all this tummy time but have come up with little more than a mirror, a mat filled with water and swimming fish, and a light up tower of blocks. Any ideas? – please share!!!
Luckily, this new skill came at an opportune time – soon after we began sleep training. It’s provided him with some much-needed comfort as we rid him of the swaddle and he’s needed to find new ways to comfortably self-soothe and sleep. He started off on his back with arms splayed out (too cute!), then slept on his side for a couple days (even cuter!), and is now on his belly for at least half the time (creating a stressed out mommy…but still cute!).
Yep, sleep training was a bitch (and took way longer than I’d expected) and I pretty much hated every minute of it (thank god for my husband who took the reins on this one!), but I’m so glad we did it and I’m pleased to report that Toby – yes, the terrible sleeper – is going down in his crib wide awake, unswaddled, without the pacifier, with little to no fussing and is sleeping a 5-6hr stretch, waking to eat around 1am, back down for about 3hrs until 4am when he eats again and then goes back down until we wake him for daycare in the morning. It’s unbelieveable. It’s life changing. Ugh, I hope it sticks. I dread the time when that first tooth comes in, or we take a trip, or he gets sick – each of which will likely produce major setbacks. BUT, life for now is pretty damn good. I’m proud of us. Proud of my hubby. And especially proud of our sweet, wonderful Toby.
We did have one night – just days in to sleep training – where I almost threw in the towel. We’ve been house hunting (first house!) and had found one we really liked. We put in an offer and were waiting to hear back from the seller. At 7pm, as we were in the midst of putting Toby down for the night, our realtor called with a counter offer we had until 830pm to consider. Toby went down in a jumble of wet tears, the hubby and I started our timers and left his room to make the biggest decision of our lives and moments later, tornado sirens started to go off! I was so stressed by the end of the night that I wanted to call it quits on everything.
Toby has hit an interesting transitional point in his development. He’s suddenly so much more aware of his body, his strength, and his place in the world. But, with that has brought on a new level of frustration for him – he gets upset when he fails to do something – like if he cant reach the toy he has his eye on, or he cant figure out how to return to his back after rolling onto his belly. But he doesn’t necessarily cry. He uses his words now – he tells us he’s frustrated in the tones of his voice, the sounds that he makes, and in his facial expressions. I think my favorite part is Toby’s new appreciation for our kisses. He used to simply tolerate the way we slobbered all over those big beautiful cheeks, that cute button nose, and those rosy red lips. But now, he kisses back with a wide open mouth and lot and lots of tongue. Sometimes he smiles this shy sort of smile when his daddy lays sweet kisses on his face.
I really, truly can’t even begin to express the depth with which I love my family 🙂