Our Second 2ww

This 2ww – actually, 2 1/2ww – is way harder than the first one.  At least then you can test at home less than a week after transfer and likely get an answer to the question you’ve been waiting for. But this 2ww leaves you with nothing but time.  Lots and lots of time – to be excited, then scared, to feel hopeful and then fearful.  There are so many hours in the day that can be filled with what-ifs and what-thens? My emotions are like a roller coaster and they can literally bounce back and forth by the minute – kind of like Toby who can be giggling one minute and wailing the next!

watchingclock

I’m so inspired by a new blogger I’ve befriended in the recent weeks – she’s just days behind me in this journey and she is embracing her pregnancy with nothing but confidence, joy, and elation. She comes to mind more often than she’d likely care to know because I am using her as my invisible support system, letting her positivity fill me with hope when I’ve let my mind wander to places it should not be.

Symptoms

I’ve been experiencing headaches the last couple of days for a good portion of the afternoon.  They’re usually gone by the time I get home from work.

I got my first pimple in literally 8 months the other day.  Bleh.

When I get up from a sitting position, I often feel a pull or pain or something on my right side.  It sounds like round ligament pain from what I’ve read.

Labs

My labs came back today and haven’t changed significantly.  Estrogen is 476 and progesterone is 31.6. The nurse says they’re where they’d like them to be and that I should continue my medications as prescribed. The nurse said it was too early for there to be a notable increase, but, hey, why not worry about it anyway, right? Relax, Emily. JUST RELAX.

The rest of life

Toby is just AMAZING. He has been the smiliest, happiest, giggliest, most wonderful little munchkin recently!  We are having a blast with him – rolling around outside and playing chase around the yard, spilling milk all over the place and then sharing in the task of cleaning it up. We sit on the kitchen floor together as we gobble down blueberries, and splash in the bath, soaking us both in soapy water.  He’s so curious these days; so eager to learn about the world.  We spend the morning chasing him around the house, just barely getting his diaper on before he’s ready to jump off the changing table, slipping his shirt on as he squats beside his new mini oven, pulling his pants on as he holds the bars of the baby gate at the top of the stairs, banging and yelling.  His socks finally go on while he nibbles on pomegranate seeds on the kitchen floor and the jacket and shoes are what generally bring him to tears.  What a kid.  We absolutely adore him and are loving every minute we spend with him.  I am desperate to give him a little sibling to play with.  He will be the most kind and gentle big brother a baby could ever ask for and I am so excited to be able to give him that gift a month before his second birthday.

Tobytwo

TobyTwoAgain

I’m pregnant.  I need to embrace it.  Because I’m going to have another Toby in 9 months!!!  (but maybe a girl!?!? 🙂 )

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7 thoughts on “Our Second 2ww

  1. I’m touched! I don’t know why this time feels different; perhaps because I’ve had so many clinical BFN cycles that this change has been nothing but positive for me. I feel like I’m finally seeing the sun peek out from behind the clouds. I’m pinching myself daily! Toby sounds like a blast. I’m so happy for you and your little family welcoming another (maybe girl!) baby! The good part about these waits when you’ve already got a little one at home, is that you’re surely going to be busy during your wait. It’ll be scan day in no time! Xx

  2. Emily!!! I have been thinking about you and will continue to send positive thoughts and prayers your way. I’m so glad to hear Toby is such a joy! We’ll have to catch up in person this summer.

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