A Strong Heartbeat

What a wait it’s been.  I’m exhausted by these last two weeks.  I’m physically exhausted from pregnancy and emotionally exhausted from the anticipation, the worry, and the strain it put on my relationship with Toby by my inability to pick him up and cuddle and kiss him every time I wanted to.  I’m going to assume/believe that he was blissfully unaware of the change, but I was not.

Luckily, it was all so very worth it because today, we heard saw our little baby’s heartbeat – a strong 126bpm. I’m pregnant.

We walked in to the clinic a gloomy mess this morning, certain we were about to receive terrible news.  I took a pregnancy test a week after my final beta, and the pregnancy line shwoed up so swiftly and was so dark that it stole ink from the control line, leaving it faint in comparison. Regretably, I took another test yesterday morning in search of a confidence boost before the ultrasound and I got just the opposite.  The line took far longer to show up and, while still dark, it had lost the strength it needed to steal all the ink so that stupid control line showed up just as dark too.  I was sure this was a tell-tale sign that my levels were dropping.  A weaker line = A lost pregnancy, right?  Wrong…apparently.  Thank god.

I still haven’t experienced that morning sickness I’ve been hoping for, but I have had a few unusual symptoms.  I know that some of it can be chalked up to anxiety, but I’m going to assume that the majority is pregnancy-related: I’m tired. My nipples are tender. And the most bizarre one is that my feet are, well, tender.  They feel similar to the way they do after a long walk in the wrong kind of shoes that lack padding leading to painful soles. Sometimes, they feel a bit tingly.  I’ve been worried about it since it’s so unusual, but the nurse told me that it could easily be the 50% increase in bloodflow or the change in hormones. Who knows…

I’m headed back to the clinic on Friday for an estrogen/progesterone check, then for another u/s in 2 weeks.  I’ve been instructed to schedule my first general OB appointment at 2 weeks after that (when I’ll be 10wks).  We’ve got a ways to go before we’re free from worry (well, we’re never completely free from worry, are we!?) and into the second trimester. But in the meantime, Im going to try really hard to embrace this pregnancy and be so very grateful for it.

Since my weight lifting restriction has been raised to 30lbs (!), I’m going to head upstairs right now to cuddle my crying baby who is struggling to fall asleep on his own for some reason.


18 thoughts on “A Strong Heartbeat

  1. Are you familiar with the hook effect? Could explain the HPT experience. I wouldn’t put any stock in those things at this stage of pregnancy personally. Once you see a HB your hCG should be too high for them to read accurately and often results in the hook effect. Keep the faith, this is going to work out!

    • When I got this last test result, I jumped on google and actually did read a lot about the hook effect! It did make me feel slightly more at ease. And, because I know about it now, I will definitely not test again because I dont want to risk seeing a lighter line and freak for no reason! Thanks for the message!

      • For kicks I’ve experimented and can say I’ve seen the hook effect first hand. As early as 5-ish weeks so by the point you’re at I would expect it to be at play. Abandon all pee sticks and have faith this time is the one!

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